ROFLMAO

Um, so I got trolled by Lore on Twitter today. Lore posted some REALLY bad logic in defense of the invasion XP nerf.

And then goes full-on Troll.

So I point out how terribly flawed the logic is. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a bully.

I’m not sure why Lore couldn’t follow the exact 1-for-1 logic of the analogy, but here it is in simple terms: An entity lowers the compensation for an identical amount of work, but offers additional units of work to “make up” the difference and calls it a raise. That’s 100% the same in both scenarios. Oh, but here’s a shocker: rather than address the actual point, he trolls me, too.

And people honestly wonder why Blizzard is developing a bad reputation with its customers? This is a  guy whose sole job is to interact with players on Blizzard’s behalf and this is his behavior? LOL. Sad.

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Timewalking Woes

Ugh. Remind me never to pug another Timewalking Dungeon. Just… ugh.

It was a painful game of one-upmanship in a total fail contest almost the whole night. After pugging my way through 2 toons (10 runs) with maybe 2 or 3 good runs to show for it, I am just so done.

The hunter pulls an extra pack (or 2 or 3) and we wipe? “C’mon heals.”

The hunter does it again and we wipe. Again. “C’mon heals.”

People standing in the purple mojo and die? “C’mon heals.”

Nobody interrupts the spellflingers and we wipe? “C’mon heals.”

Tank pulls before I get there and dies? “C’mon heals.”

Tank doesn’t know how to play his class? “C’mon heals.”

Tank pulls while at half health and we’re still buffing? “C’mon heals.”

Hunter *TAUNTS* and gets one-shotted? “C’mon heals.”

Tank stands in the avoidable cone and takes 110% of his health in damage? “C’mon heals.”

Same tank gets rezzed and dies to the same thing again. “C’mon heals.”

Same tank gets rezzed yet again and dies to the same ability a 3rd time? “C’mon heals.”

Nobody uses the boulder to LoS and reset cold stacks on Garfrost? “C’mon heals.”

You name it, they failed at it, yet somehow it was all my fault. On behalf of competent healers everywhere I would like to give a nice hearty “Fuck You” to all of you. L2P or L2STFU. I don’t care which. Being bad and rude about it is not an acceptable option.

Chopper-Gate

WARNING: The following blog post contains salty language and a generous outpouring of nerd rage. Viewer discretion is advised. Reading aloud is not safe for work. Or children.

In case any of you missed it, Chopper-Gate is the absolute fiasco created and carried out by Blizzard who seemed to be absolutely oblivious to the effect that giving a free mount to only one faction would have on the fanbase. In other words, Blizz is giving a free motorcycle to all Horde players and gave the finger to the Alliance. That’s not too surprising, because that’s not exactly a new turn of events. Blizzard has a long history of favoring the Horde and shafting the Alliance in pretty much every aspect of the game. The difference? This time they were obvious and open about it. Predictably, all hell broke loose.

Lots of people agree with Blizzard and are embracing a general “fuck the Alliance and everyone who plays it” mentality. A few “sympathetic” souls have gone so far as to suggest things Blizzard could do to make things more “fair” to the Alliance, with the front runners being “allow Alliance players to pay $25 for the same mount Horde gets free” and “let the Alliance players ride the Horde bike and proudly display their submission and allegiance to the other faction.” So, yeah, there’s that.

So, how can Blizzard fix this absolute clusterfuck they created?  Well, they could just give Alliance their bikes, too. Alternately they could give both bikes to both factions. However, since both of those suggestions would be fair and reasonable, don’t count on either of them happening. Even if they do, sorry, Blizz, but it’s too little, too late. The Blue half of your paying customers shouldn’t have to throw an outright hissy fit to be treated the same as the Red half of your paying customers.

With that bit of well-deserved bile out of the way, let’s move on to a more important subject: how Blizzard was colossally stupid to have set this contest up in the first place. I get what they wanted to do: they were trying to do something cool for the players, drum up a little faction pride, and do some sort of tie-in with the American Choppers TV show. That, in itself, is cool. I don’t have a problem with that. Nor is it sour grapes that my current main faction is the one that got the shaft: don’t forget that 6 of my 90s are Horde. The thing is, fair is fair, and no matter how you slice it, screwing over 1/2 of your players is unfair.

So, what could they have done to avoid this situation?

  • Change the teams. There are plenty of other factions/parties/races that could have been an interesting design competition without alienating either faction’s players. The Pandaren, Mogu, Zandalari, Scourge, and Burning Legion (just to name a few) all have uniquely inspired visual art/designs that could be incorporated into some bad-ass motorcycles. Having any two of them squaring off would have been preferable to the two prime factions.
  • Change the format. They could have had a collection of different chopper designs drawn up for each faction, with the voting determining which of the designs got built into an actual motorcycle. At the end, both faction’s winners would also be turned into faction-specific in-game mounts. That way both mounts are available for free to the whole player base regardless of whether you play Horde, Alliance, or both.
  • Change the stakes. What Blizzard has failed to grasp in all their iteration of reward is that the difference between winning and losing isn’t just the reward for winning, it’s also the punishment for losing. You cannot separate those two concepts because they are opposite sides of a coin. In order to keep the winners happy, the reward must be tangible, but in order to keep the losers happy, it must also be negligible. A time-restriction can accomplish both at once. The Horde won the vote, so give them their motorcycles first. After a week or two (maybe even a month) give the Alliance theirs, too. It gives the Horde a window of opportunity to gloat about their favored child status without creating (or, in this case, adding to) a permanent faction imbalance.

In Which I Whine About PVP

FAIR WARNING: What follows is the hostile, long-winded venting of frustration after a very long night hitting the BG queue on my (now-level-32) disc priest. Feel free not to read it if you have no interest in such things.

If I could “PVP” with 9 semi-competent NPCs versus 10 random horde players, I’d pick that route every single time.  I’d be willing to bet I’d win at least 75% of them, too. So, yeah, there’s my dose of hubris for the day.

There is little more annoying and frustrating than seeing teammate after teammate that can’t win a 1 on 1 fight, or even loses when they have a 2 or even 3 on 1 advantage. Watching all those little dots and flags on the map and seeing the health bars drop in my UI was nothing short of disgusting. It was such a long night.

The FC and I get jumped by a warlock and mage just inside the flag room. I’m being chain-feared, rooted, etc. and the FC just keeps running. So I’m sitting there fighting the warlock and mage (both in full heirlooms), and it’s a tough fight, but I finally manage to whittle them down (neither one was particularly good, but they hit hard anyway because of the looms). Around about the time I kill the 2nd one, the FC dies to a rogue, and spouts “OMG, not one heal. WTF?” and then a few other people start complaining that most of my heals are on myself (yeah? guess who they’re attacking, dipshits). I want to reach through the screen and just end every last one of the mouth-breathing morons I’ve been saddled with. But I take a deep breath and keep playing. Since I’m already at the enemy FR anyway, I just grab it myself and hustle down the length of the field for a quick cap, except that of course, the 3 rogues we have on D in the FR can’t manage to bring down a single warrior when he grabs our flag. Between the three of them,  they only managed to bring him just below half health and there his health sat for almost the full run back to his base before his healer met up with him on the horde side of mid. And from that point, he hit full health and never dipped below 90% again. Two of the rogues went after the EFC and the third went to mid to get farmed with the rest of the team.

Meanwhile, I’m in our FR, completely alone, and after fending off 2 waves of double-rogue action, they send a warlock with them. Still no dice. So they send a hunter, too. It took some nifty healing and a minor miracle in RNG, but I managed to hold off all 4 of them. At this point I can only imagine what they’re thinking, but I can’t imagine they’re happy. At any rate, this time they’re smart enough to send a healer with the group. 6 Hordies in my face, and I finally go down, although considering the number of vulnerability stacks I had at that point, I don’t think they would have needed all 6 anyway. Naturally I inquire (none too politely, I admit) “What happened, guys?” So… where was my team? I check the map and… they’re getting camped in mid, despite outnumbering the enemy 9-4. “You have to give us time to get to him,” is their response. And at that point, my head exploded. I mean, really, the sheer stupidity/unfairness of the admonishment sent me to the moon. The horde had time to send 5, count ’em 5(!), waves from the GY to our FR. You had time to make it once. Gah.

But that’s not the worst part of it. Stop and think about the logistics for a minute. There are 6 enemies in the FR with me. There are 2 enemies (the EFC and his healer) on their roof, and 2 of our rogues attacking that group. That means there are exactly 2 horde players at mid and there are 7 of you attacking them. How are you dying? Just… what… how… I don’t even… Whuuh???

And that was a microcosm of my evening. The more miraculously I played, the more incompetent my teammates became, as if there were some sort of inverse reward system in place in the queue system, somehow guaranteeing that no matter how well I played, my teammates would suck enough to screw it up. Solo capped twice? Loss. Beat a 5 on 1? Loss. Keep 3 of the enemy tied up for over 5 minutes before OOMing to death? Loss.  Topped 100K healing done AND 30K damage done in a single match (in the 30-34 bracket)? Loss (times 3). Used Psychic Scream to clear the enemy away from the flag and pick it up before it can be returned? Loss.

It wasn’t a complete waste of time. There were quite a few people that complimented my heals, and that was a big plus. I always love to feel appreciated. But in half of the BGs there was somebody so convinced that everybody else was fail that they started blaming lack of heals for everything. FC outran the healer? My fault.  Lost a 6-on-2? My fault. I’m in the FR healing the FC instead of healing the folks derping at mid? My fault. 3 rogues in my face and no peels? My fault. Chain-CC and/or Silences? My fault. You got one-shot by a rogue because you have no gear? My fault. Half the team won’t get out of mid? My fault. Just… enough is enough.

I long for some competent teammates. I’m considering trying to find a guild that runs lowbie and non-rated BGs just so I can get some. I’m trying to keep my chin up but it just gets so frustrating. I am (and forgive the lack of humility here) quite often the best player in the BG on either side (and sometimes by a wide margin) and yet I’m the one taking crap for loss after loss after loss. On the few occasions that I did get a decent teammate or two, we’d kick ass and take names, but usually that was the last I’d see of them. I was placed with a nice shammy/mage pair that were good (and very complimentary of my heals) and the 3 times we got placed together accounted for half of my wins on the night. The rest of the night was all “wah, wah, carry me harder” and it gets hard not to take it personally. Part of me thinks it would just be simpler to find some decent teammates and bring them with me. At least that way, we really could carry the whiners.

Enough is Enough

I’ve always made an effort not to name and shame people for their retardedness in a videogame. Lately, though, I have reached the boiling point. I have no interest in embarrassing people because of poor gameplay, but I no longer see any reason to apply that same protection to sheer asshattery.

 

So, beginning the wall of shame is Unibrau – Rexxar, a retard hunter who felt that pulling 24K dps in 388 gear is something worth bragging about: so much so that he’s willing to call out people he is “carrying” by his very presence and then ninja-need on strength gear as his (and I quote) “fee.” Granted, my 10K isn’t fantastic, but it’s decent enough for a regular heroic in my greens and blues. So, fuck you very much Mr. Huntard.

Not to be outdone are Devotion – Drak-Thul, a tank with a terminal case of awareness issues, and Amberlyne – Tichondrius, who along with some third party member I didn’t get a chance to get the name of, vote-kicked me before I ever got a chance to enter the instance. When the queue popped, it wouldn’t let me port in, saying the instance was full. This was almost certainly the result of kicking someone who has disconnected. When you kick a DCed player, they log back in to find themselves in the zone, but not in the party, making the newly appointed group member unable to enter the instance. Anyway, the tank throws up a ready check and I say no, explaining the instance full error message. The tank then pulls anyway. The hunter points out that I wasn’t in the instance for the ensuing failfest, and I get kicked from the party. So after waiting over 10 minutes to get into the damn queue, I then have to wait another 12 minutes to wait out the dungeon finder cooldown, because Captain ADD can’t comprehend party chat. So again, fuck you very much Amberlyne, Devotion, and unknown third voter, for punishing me for your own damn impatience and incompetence.

There, having vented that I feel better. Besides, I had nothing better to do with my 12 minutes of waiting time.

Some Guys Have All the (Bad) Luck

Imagine my surprise to see a blue post proclaiming the following.

We’ve sent the remaining 400,000 Annual Pass beta invites last night, which concludes the entirety of those who have signed up for the offer thus far.

I didn’t recall getting an e-mail from Blizz saying I’d been flagged for the beta, but I went ahead and logged into my BNet account, anyway. No surprise, I’m still not flagged. So I read on to discover…

Due to the large number of invites sent there are some that bounced back for various reasons, and we’ll be working to apply those invites over the next few days. If you haven’t received your invite yet it’s likely you’re one of the few affected by such an issue, and rest assured we’re working to get you into the beta as soon as possible.

Ah, of course. I am but one of a “few” people being screwed over. *sigh* Just… *sigh*

Having Fun with PUGs

So I was running a Well of Eternity in a PUG and the tank, for some reason, was tanking the adds way out in the boonies instead of next to the portal. I mean, like, way out there, past where you stop to fight the giant fire elemental. The result of this odd placement was that I could not be in range of both the tank and the party at the same time. Well, naturally Manoroth summoned the Infernals as he does, and the rogue died. So I rebirth him and we finish the fight. Normally, that would be the end of it and not much of a story, but the dude decides to get all whiny with me. He posts recount of his death, showing that he didn’t get any heals as he was meeting his death to the Infernals and then asks “WTF is that?” So I fire back, “looks to me like somebody was both OOR and doesn’t know how to Tricks or Vanish” and naturally his only defense is “Fuck you.” I literally LOLed. I don’t know what response he was hoping to get out of his vulgarity, but I’m thinking that probably wasn’t it. What I do know is that if you legitimately want information you need to ask in a less aggressive way, and if you’re going to attack the healer for your death you’d better hope that he doesn’t know your class better than you do.