After having spent most of the morning doing randoms and only experiencing fail at the hands of the server (rolling restarts on various realms plays havoc with your random dungeon), I have the first truly fail PUG in a long while. While doing regular UK on my 72 druid, of all things. My druid is specced and geared for tanking, I just haven’t had the guts to actually tank a random yet. So usually I just go kitty form and dps in my bear gear.
So we’ve just zoned in and I’ve been in the instance all of 45 seconds when this fail – and I mean EXTREME fail shaman – starts in on me. My talent choices are “gimp” and he proceeds to tell me how wrongly I am specced and his personal recommendation for every talent point I should take and how much each one will improve my dps, all the while “lol”ing at how “fail” I am. This before we’ve even buffed up for the first pull. Following his math my druid should be pulling roughly 4k dps at level 72 (inlcuding getting 2k per tick on each bleed effect). Yeah.. sure, buddy. Anyway, I tell him that I’ve gotten my spec from Elitist Jerks and I trust them more than some random guy in a PUG. He then fires back that he has a “dr00d” in “full t9” as if that is some sort of accomplishment at this point in the game. Congrats, buddy, you can chain heroics and get triumph emblems? You can find a vendor? Which of these is supposed to impress me? I like the badge gear, too, but that doesn’t make me an expert on the class (which by the way, is not in fact spelled with two zeroes). It’s kind of sad that this has so often become the recognized standard of the quality of the player, now. Just “I have gear” like that means something in and of itself. Anyone can grind their way to gear or be carried to it.
Anyway, had he bothered to take 2 seconds to ask what I was doing with the spec, or, I don’t know, maybe inferred something from the fact that I was *in bear form* when I zoned into the instance and he first started inspecting me, he might have made a better impression than he did by just laying into me about how “fail” he thought I was.
So we get a little further into the instance and annoyingly, the dps warrior is snagging every weapon rack there is for the quests we’re on. So my sister and I start circling the now-cleared room to collect the vrykul weapons, and Mr. Pushy is yelling at us to stop and telling us we’re going the wrong way and laughing at us again. So once again, I explain that we are not, in fact, idiots, but rather are picking up quest items. You know, gaining XP. That thing that you’re *supposed* to be doing at this stage of the game. And then he demands that we share the quest, ask if there are any more (like we’re secretly going “yeah, there’s 4, but we thought we’d only share 2, haha, take that asshat!”). Of course, sharing the quest isn’t enough, we must also tell him how to do the quest (because reading the quest isn’t an option, apparently).
So on the next pull, my sister is low on mana (mostly due to the fact that she keeps having to pop out of boomkin form to heal people), and he stops healing to tell my sister to use innervate on herself. Meanwhile the warrior dies, I’m fading fast, and my sister has given up any pretense of dpsing and is HoTing for all she’s worth. Finally the tank (who is one of those geared t9 “experts”) is tanking in blood presence and complaining at us for drawing threat. Um, yeah, buddy, sorry but if a couple of undergeared 71-72 dpsers are pulling aggro off of you, you’re not putting out the threat expected of an 80 tank, so stop screwing around with your questing presence and tank the fricking instance.
Not to be outdone in the fail department, the shaman decides to step it up a notch. He’s decided that he’ll just stop drinking and instead rely on my innervate to keep his mana full. Naturally, he neglected to inform anyone else of this brilliant plan. So we go into the next pull and the shaman is low on mana and asks for innervate. And apparently I took too long to respond. Which was 8 seconds. During which he had typed my name and then “?” and then “?” again. So at this point I’ve had enough of Mr. Control Freak, who at this point has pretty much spent more time griping at me and the warrior and talking about how awesome he is at everything than he has spent healing (I’ve died 3 times and everyone else save the tank has died twice: if not for the fact that the tank could pretty much solo the place we’d have wiped several times by now). So I ask him to please stop being so rude, pushy, and impatient. So he starts yelling at me that he’s not being rude, he’s being helpful (sort of like the school bully is helping his victims to fit in, I guess). So he’s going on and on about how he was just asking and that he shouldn’t have to ask, I should just be casting my innervate on him on CD because we have a “leet tank” and are doing a speed run and I should “just know” that I need to innervate him. Because apparently, not only can he not be arsed to heal, but he can’t be arsed to manage his own mana pool (using that term loosely, since he’s rocking 6 k life and 8k mana). Heck, he couldn’t even be arsed to tell everyone else that he wouldn’t be fulfilling his role and that they needed to do it for him. He just kind of expected it to happen.
And the saddest part is, I didn’t really expect him to do either. All I wanted was for him to just shut his annoying mouth for 10 minutes and finish the instance. Unsurprisingly, even this small task was beyond him. I guess it never occurred to him that the more he threw up his smokescreen of barked orders and unsolicited advice, the more it became blatantly obvious to everyone that whatever he may or may not know about druids, he sure as heck knew nothing about healing.